Response to Amanda Grace in BTN Nov-2020
Hi Amanda,
We removed your post shortly after receiving a few notifications that the post had been reported within Facebook along with emails from folks letting us know how triggered they were by the comments in our Body Trust Network. We also hear how triggered and upset you were.
We see a post from you on October 10 celebrating your new bras and sharing how relieving it was to finally do this after “two years of resistance”. We know this work comes with its ups and downs, and could see from the deleted post that your wedding rings not fitting sent you spiraling. It sounds like comments in solidarity were not helpful. We understand how beloved your rings are and that having them cut off feels beyond what you want to tolerate right now.
It’s okay to spiral. It’s part of this work. A person who has a strong body trust practice is not immune to days like this; they're able to navigate these days without being destructive, to themselves or others. And, as much as you wanted to share your frustration in the group, your comment about not being able to ever accept your body at the size it is at today was triggering and harmful to the most marginalized (fattest) bodies in the Body Trust Network.
Body Trust is not a plan or program to help people solve the “problem of their bodies”. It is for people who want to divest from diet culture and heal from the experiences that have robbed them of living safely, securely and freely in their body. It sounds like you are reckoning with what this work really is, which is certainly part of the process of reclaiming body trust, and that the body changes feel intolerable. We’ve found, over and over again, that the process does not work well when people are trying to dictate the size and shape of their body, though many people do come to this work hoping it will lead to weight control or getting smaller.
That’s not what this work is about, nor is it what this community is for. Your comments violated our community agreements and people are allowed to share how the comments impacted them. We understand your intention was not to harm others, but to share and get support. And in this community, we center impact.
It’s okay if you are finding that this work is not a good fit for you.
We wish you the best in your healing, and in finding a community that supports you in the ways you’ve described.
Warm regards,
Dana & Hilary